A little history...

As I think about my future whereabouts, plans, wanderings, I keep coming back to things like this:

My friends from Minnesota. I think, as I get older, I find that I want to make my own life, plant my own roots, build my own house (not literally, of course. I once tried to use a table saw under supervision, and was doing well until I open-mouth smiled and ate half a pound of sawdust. Go figure).

But there’s this part of me that wants to be around people I have a history with. People who have seen me through bad break-ups, bad decisions, bad test scores, bad driving, and tons of bad hair days. (What can I say I had to have my own bad short haircut despite the pleadings against it).

These girls were and are my foundation in so many ways and I long to live life in a more frequent manner with them. As usual I’m torn by my independence and my desire to belong to people.

I think that’s why the promise of the Lord being the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow is so comforting. Because I don’t know what today or any of my tomorrows may bring but I can be comforted that I know the One who has my itinerary planned out. The One who understands my need to belong, to have stability and to be known.

And for that I am incredibly grateful.

Adaptability

Our schedule can (and does!) change multiple times a week. Our retreat groups have needs we didn’t (and couldn’t!) anticipate. The weather can change in minutes (thanks, East Texas!)

But we’ve all learned to be quick to accept change and to readjust our plans, thoughts, and actions accordingly. We’ve learned that if you want sleep, you’ve got to get it while you can. If you want peace, you’ve got to seek it out. If you want to drive the truck, you have to call it before anyone else.

You’ve got to be ready and willing for all of it.

This spills over into other situations in my life as well. Learning to adapt has helped me to connect with and love people better because I try to be more understanding and graceful as I learn more about them. It has opened doors for building relationships with those around me.

Being flexible is what serving others is all about. You can’t claim to be a servant if you are unwilling to do even more than is asked of you. Loving people takes a lot of willingness and adaptability but it’s always worth the time and effort it takes.

One example was from a youth group I was managing a few weekends ago. It turned out that the group leader has more set-up needs than I had expected but she assured me that her students could set it up before their first meeting. I decided I could bless them by setting up before the group arrived at the meeting hall and the group leader was floored by my simple gesture. That set the tone for the entire weekend and allowed her to feel loved and cared for.

This is worth it.

I do what I want.

I have a car, a white Plymouth Breeze. She accelerates with a stutter and her brakes are awfully sketchy, but I love her. She resides in Minnesota.

I live in Texas.

That’s right, I am carless here at camp and although I chose this, sometimes it feels really unfair and bothersome.

I get along alright as I live with the most generous and wonderful people who offer me rides anywhere I go, but I usually just tag along when I overhear a Wal-Mart run being planned.

Basically what this means is that I don’t plan my own life half the time. I don’t make my own choices. I have ideas and then hope someone else has them as well. But I’m really dependent on this makeshift family I live with.

And sometimes I HATE it.

I’m a very independent and wannabe carefree spirit. I don’t like being tethered to others’ plans.

I do what I want. (via Pinterest)

I’m being humbled, but I don’t like it at all.

The Lord has really been showing me these things- how it’s ok to need people, how I can’t do it all on my own, how I should be less selfish.

It’s a lifelong lesson I’m sure as we have always wanted to rebel against this idea of needing people, but this is how we were made to live together and share together. To feel helpless once in a while because we don’t have everything we need. When we start to think so, we start to live our lives without the guidance of an even bigger community- the Trinity.

So, this is one little way in which I am learning to be humble, to trust others, and to rely on the Lord.

It’s not easy, but it is nice sometimes to be the follower and let everyone else make all the decisions.

Things I Worry About

It's been so busy here at Camp Cho-Yeh! I have noticed as I get back into the Event Manager routine that little worries keep popping up in my head. But this short list of worries seems quite specific to my job, the Stonehenge of my life, so to speak. So, I thought I'd share because I'm starting to doubt I'll ever worry about them once I step out of camping ministry.

Things I Worry About

Snakes, possums, bobcats, dumpster cats.

My radio died….again.

The maintenance shed is locked but I NEED a machete NOW.

I’ll get a call to come unclog a toilet…at one in the morning.

I forgot my headlamp…again.

Jack-knifing the truck & trailer.

I’ll get my harness on to belay for three hours…and have to pee.

What am I going to wear?

"But I already have my harness on!"

Stuff Campers Say Second Edition

I was blessed to be able to counsel for the last week of summer camp and I again had the youngest campers that we affectionately refer to as the Gummies. The love I experienced from those lil' campers was overwhelming and the things they said adorable as documented below.

“Do you like being tickled?”

“You dance really funny!”

“Can you make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”

“I love you like a mom!”

"Are those your real glasses or are they part of a Halloween costume?"

"Do you have a husband?" "No, I don't." "That's ok, you can always get a dog to hang out with."

(via http://themessesofmen.tumblr.com/) 

Summer 2012

Summer camp has officially ended and I'm finally writing once again. There is so much I could write about in regards to the summer so the next few posts will focus on my experience at Camp Cho-Yeh during this crazy summer.

To recap: my job this summer was to be the Assistant Camp Registrar to Jenn Jones, Summer Camp Registrar. Although there were many times I missed running around camp and feeling more involved, at the end of the day I knew I was where I needed to be. I wanted to be at Cho-Yeh and this position was the empty seat at the otherwise full lunch table.

Instead of having this attitude that revolves around what I want, I started thinking about how I could serve Jenn in my position. Maybe I wasn't put in the position because I could get the most out of it, but because I could give the most while in it. It can be so difficult to think that way but once I did I was able to hand out every little piece of myself to anyone who needed it.

So many times our faith and our lives are so focused on ourselves. What will I learn? How can I grow? And many times these are good things to think on. But just take that step outside yourself and ask how you can serve those around you. Trust me, you'll still learn and grow from these experiences.

Are we having a moment?

Do you ever just have a moment? It might happen in slow motion or it might just give you reason to be still. It happens anywhere. It grips you. It makes breathing a little more of a task.

It’s that moment after the laughing dies down but before someone speaks again. It’s that second you drive around the corner and can only see the summer-flavored trees so beautifully poised. It’s that time where you share a joke through eye contact in a crowded room. 

It’s looking up at the night sky and hoping for stars but what you get is stars upon stars.

It’s this moment: our boss is sitting on the steps and a few people kneel down around him. I expect to hear someone start a prayer but suddenly hear one from my own lips, but it is covered by twenty some other voices as the summer staff crowds around. It’s one prayer and I am overwhelmed by the sound.

Those moments that could be ordinary and passed over but are suddenly set ablaze with something bigger.

I think we’re given those moments by the Lord so that we remember we’re alive. Whole poems are written about this stuff, whole books! It’s real and it’s not just water for thirsty souls it’s every food you love for every piece of your heart. (For me I imagine a brick-oven pizza, beer, and a whole pile of pancakes).

(via awelltraveledwoman.tumbler.com)