Hello/Goodbye

As we come to the close of yet another crazy semester of retreats at Camp Cho-Yeh I can’t help but feel heavy-hearted as I realize our team is about to scatter into our various summer camp positions and eventually into other parts of the state and country this fall.

I feel like some masked thief broke in when we weren’t ready and sped up all the clocks and filled all our hours with activity instead of conversations. I’ve already started my summer job of working in the office so I’ve been having actual feelings of separation anxiety as I rarely see my team. I’ve started feeling so fearful that time is running out and I haven’t yet given all I could of myself.

I feel that temptation to count my regrets, the times when I could have done more or better, but I stop myself. There’s no need to relive our histories unless they make us better and stronger, not troubled.

I start to really think about the good-byes and how much we can all agree on this being an awful, awful part of our existence. Anyone who tries to live in a place without roots will find it. Anyone who craves adventure and newness will find it. And here I am having to do this multiple times a year it seems. It’s so unsettling.

So I realize I need comfort in all this. I need a constant. And I remember a friend once telling me that in a world of good-byes God is the ultimate hello. He’s the forever hello. And that is something to hold onto when all your familiarities are taking flight. 

Tattoo

I finally got the tattoo that's been on my mind for years. It's on my right wrist, in the simplest font I could find, and says "heaven is wherever."


It's a concept I need to be reminded of constantly. Heaven is wherever we choose to bring it. Wherever there is love, or patience, a kind word, or guidance, the sound of laughter or a sight that makes us catch our breath.


It's at Camp Cho-Yeh, it's in my parent's house, it's at the next camp I work at. 


Heaven is wherever.

Joy

Don’t let comparison steal your joy.

This has been on my mind a lot lately as our retreat season gets busier and busier and we start to step over into preparing for summer camp as well.

My job this summer is to be the assistant to our office registrar. I’m very excited about this job change and have been slowly transitioning into this role as summer gets closer. However, I still miss the craziness of retreats and feel like I’m a little on the outside the reach of that exploding piñata.

Don’t get me wrong, my introverted self is certainly enjoying my time in the office and I know I’ll have plenty of opportunities this summer to interact with campers and counselors.

And I’m letting the comparison of what I’m doing to what the rest of my team is doing get to me in a negative way. And it’s stealing my joy a little bit.

And I’m not the only one. Others on my team have compared job loads, hours, and responsibilities to one another and it’s draining us of our happiness.

One thing I’ve realized though is that we need to choose our joy. We get to be content in any situation because the Lord brought us there and what good is it to count your sorrows?

So, just remember this old hymn and know it is true even now.

“Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,

it is well, it is well with my soul.”

Happy Belated Easter!

  

For Easter this year I went with my friend Morgan to a Cowboy Church. I’d never even heard of such a thing, but there it was, this open-air arena fit for a rodeo, plastic chairs in the sand and bleachers to one side, saloon doors swinging open to the bathrooms.

We sang hymns like country singers would and then we experienced a more contemporary worship band (James Curlin Band) and soon after we were responding with “Amen!” to our animated African-American preacher.

It felt so jumbled and yet in each part of the service, the Lord was there. We all know He doesn’t fit into any sort of type, category, or box. He’s not found only in nature, only in church, only in our prayers in Bible studies. He’s everything and everywhere. He’s in our sadness when saying good-bye, He’s in our conversations and laughter with friends, He’s in our lazy moments by the pool. He’s alive now, for us, for always.

Morgan and I on our way to Easter Service.

Rain & Things

It’s been raining a lot here at camp lately and everything is such a lively green.

I will not even pretend that I can write about nature and this gorgeous earth with any sort of depth or intelligence. I’ll just let you read some Annie Dillard for yourself.

"The point of the dragonfly's terrible lip, the giant water bug, birdsong, or the beautiful dazzle and flash of sunlighted minnows, is not that it all fits together like clockwork--for it doesn't ... but that it all flows so freely wild, like the creek, that it all surges in such a free, finged tangle. Freedom is the world's water and weather, the world's nourishment freely given, its soil and sap: and the creator loves pizzazz."

Annie Dillard (b. 1945), U.S. essayist and autobiographer. Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

This entire book is the best book about observing the natural world that I’ve read. You should too.

Happy Spring y'all!

(all images taken at Camp Cho-Yeh by yours truly)

Unlovable

We’re all unlovable at some point or other. We all get so tired we could cry, we could scream, we could drive recklessly, we could break plates. And we all experience others in this state. But here’s where we learn about loving people in their lowest.

Instead of responding to nasty sarcasm and rude comments with the same, I’ve tried to let that flash in the pan anger reside and respond with kindness.

“Kill ‘em with your kindness.”

The thing is Jesus was serious when he said to turn the other cheek. It’s so easy to let anger get the best of you, to let your selfish side flare like a frill neck lizard as you feel injustices go from a seed to a tree. It’s ok to let people know they have hurt you, but to respond with the same actions is just creating an endless funhouse mirror of bitterness.

Contrary to popular belief, showing kindness in the face of hate is not weak but rather a sign of strength, which the Lord gives when love seems to be the last thing we can do.

(via http://awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com/)

Stuff Campers Say: Summer Camp Edition

This past weekend we had our first leadership weekend in order to brainstorm and plan for the upcoming summer. It made me reminisce about summers past at a little camp in Minnesota where the kids are just as honest and forthright as any.

So here we go with Stuff Campers Say…Summer Camp Style!

(To a camper who is devouring her chocolate cakes minus the use of her hands):
“That is the most unwomanly thing you could be doing right now.”

“I’m too cute to sweat.”

“Is anyone here armed in case of bear attacks?”

“There are so many campers that have unflattering pictures of me now.” “Oh yeah, I totally took one of you while you were sleeping with your mouth open.”

“You expect me to swim in a lake that has live animals in it?”

“Why does Ali eat the apple seeds?” “So she won’t die of cancer.” “Yeah, but she’s going to die of a tree growing in her stomach!”

Ali-the-apple-seed-eater and I at Big Sandy Camp, 2011.