Once in a while I get terrible headaches. It’s hard for me to function as every noise, every fraction of light, and every movement makes my noggin’ feel like it’s filled with strong men using hammers. It’s upsetting to me because I never know when they will creep in and start to set up their brick walls.
This one hit on day two of my first week back at camp after my holiday break. It was during a group activity during which we were all supposed to work together on the task at hand and I was eager to get it over with.
In my hasty and cloudy manner, I gave my friend, Nate, the impression that I was mad with him.
Back in the office he flat-out asked me, “Are you mad at me?”
A surprised and breathful, “No, of course not!” was my reply.
And what he said next struck me. “Good, because I like you and I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
I was so hit by his simple and honest words. And I wanted to cry with the knowledge of having someone I don’t deserve care for me.
Which is, of course, who God is. Someone who cares for me-deeply, unbelievably- though I don’t deserve it. Someone I get to have around all the time, His presence holding everything together and blessing me constantly- though I am frightfully unaware. His love giving me strength-even when friends I love completely like my own family come and go. I don’t deserve such constant undivided, untainted devotion. And yet I receive these blessings upon blessings.
It's amazing how these realizations hit us when we're completely vulnerable and possibly nearing our worst. I suppose that's when our hearts are the most open for understanding. I'm glad you found some good among the crappy. :)
ReplyDeleteheadaches are the worst. I hate that when you're in pain, so it's hard to remember to be nice to other people. :/
ReplyDelete